http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/12/27/richard-chamberlain-gay-actors-coming-out/
Apparently the It Gets Better campaign is a lie, at least according to Richard Chamberlain. Really? Really? WTF is he thinking?
I'm going to name as many LGBT celebrities as I can think of, beginning NOW.
Jane Lynch, Chris Colfer, Ryan Murphy, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, John Barrowman, Adam Lambert, Portia de Rossi, Clive Barker, Perez Hilton, Jay Manuel, Graham Norton, Melissa Etheridge, Elton John, Freddie Mercury.
That's 15. Judging by the fact that I've heard of them, I don't think you could say that their careers were negatively impacted because they're out of the closet. So why would Chamberlain say something like that? Granted, he's specifically referring to male lead actors, but my point is still valid. I realize, as much as anyone who's not gay can, that coming out is difficult. I think, though, that celebrities have an easier time of it, for the simple reason that people are more accepting of odd behavior from celebrities, regardless of their sexuality. If there's anyone without an excuse for remaining in the closet, it's the celebrities.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
This Week in the Life of Jaspar
Can I just scream now? I am so messed up, I swear to god. I need to figure this out.
Way I see it, I've got two options, both of which are a major gamble. So the question is, should I settle for the lesser degree, which would reduce my chance of post-college employment? Or should I go for a transfer and risk spending the next 20+ years paying off my education? Decisions, decisions. It might help if I had graduated high school. I was a good enough student that I might have had better luck getting scholarships and work. But no, I had to go and be stupid.
Sure, it wasn't entirely my fault. I was only a teenager, and I thought ministers were trustworthy. But I don't hate him for lying to me. Nah, lying was the least of his crimes against my family. I hate him mostly for destroying my faith.
I mean, I'm glad I got out of that cult. It wasn't good for me, I know that. I just don't know if I can ever get over wasting 20 years of my life, doing all I did in the name of a god that doesn't even exist. And I did some pretty horrible stuff in the name of religion. Brainwashing children into following blindly a religion that promotes intolerance, hate, and bigotry is nothing short of cruel. Especially when that child grows up and realizes what an intolerant hateful bigot she's been.
Speaking of (in)tolerance, I'm so happy that Don't Ask Don't Tell was finally repealed. It's about fuckin' time, let me tell you. I just wish people weren't so stupid about it. At dinner the other night the subject came up, thanks to my homophobic dad and brother. "They're gonna have to do something different about the shower situation. Put in a third section- men, women, gays." "They should treat them like the women, keeping them out of the combat situations. Can't have someone in the field that the other soldiers/marines/airmen/sailors can't rely on." Grow the fuck up. It's not you that'll have to deal with it. And the adjustments that the bigots will have to make are nothing compared to what the gay people went through during DADT.
Anyway. I can't argue against them, because they're both really good at making me look stupid. Not to mention my dad would never tolerate anything that implies gay people are less than evil demons out to molest and convert everyone else. But I can at least change the topic. It's so easy to get them talking about cars and computers instead, and at least I'm only left confused instead of offended. I wish they get a taste of their own medicine one day from someone less cowardly than me.
Way I see it, I've got two options, both of which are a major gamble. So the question is, should I settle for the lesser degree, which would reduce my chance of post-college employment? Or should I go for a transfer and risk spending the next 20+ years paying off my education? Decisions, decisions. It might help if I had graduated high school. I was a good enough student that I might have had better luck getting scholarships and work. But no, I had to go and be stupid.
Sure, it wasn't entirely my fault. I was only a teenager, and I thought ministers were trustworthy. But I don't hate him for lying to me. Nah, lying was the least of his crimes against my family. I hate him mostly for destroying my faith.
I mean, I'm glad I got out of that cult. It wasn't good for me, I know that. I just don't know if I can ever get over wasting 20 years of my life, doing all I did in the name of a god that doesn't even exist. And I did some pretty horrible stuff in the name of religion. Brainwashing children into following blindly a religion that promotes intolerance, hate, and bigotry is nothing short of cruel. Especially when that child grows up and realizes what an intolerant hateful bigot she's been.
Speaking of (in)tolerance, I'm so happy that Don't Ask Don't Tell was finally repealed. It's about fuckin' time, let me tell you. I just wish people weren't so stupid about it. At dinner the other night the subject came up, thanks to my homophobic dad and brother. "They're gonna have to do something different about the shower situation. Put in a third section- men, women, gays." "They should treat them like the women, keeping them out of the combat situations. Can't have someone in the field that the other soldiers/marines/airmen/sailors can't rely on." Grow the fuck up. It's not you that'll have to deal with it. And the adjustments that the bigots will have to make are nothing compared to what the gay people went through during DADT.
Anyway. I can't argue against them, because they're both really good at making me look stupid. Not to mention my dad would never tolerate anything that implies gay people are less than evil demons out to molest and convert everyone else. But I can at least change the topic. It's so easy to get them talking about cars and computers instead, and at least I'm only left confused instead of offended. I wish they get a taste of their own medicine one day from someone less cowardly than me.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Oreo
On November 28, 2006, I lost the last person who cared about me.
She was an outdoor kitty, against my will, but we were both coping. At least until that stupid stray showed up. He bullied her, and there was nothing I could do about it. No way would my dad allow her back inside. So we tried to cope. Until November 27-28.
I never heard anything. I didn't have any idea what happened until the next day when I found her. There was a spot in back of the house where the siding had come away and the cats could get under the house. There was a steep drop there, about a foot high I think. She was there. She couldn't move; she just lay there and screamed.
There have been several days in my life that stand out as really horrible. My first day at a public school. The day I realized I was no longer welcome at my church. The day my bee status was temporarily revoked. None of those, as difficult as they were to live, were quite as bad as hearing my child screaming in pain and being completely, utterly helpless to do anything about it.
If I could live that day again, I would do it differently. I would have pulled her out of that hole and given her a double human dose of aspirin and held her and told her how brave she was while she died quickly. At the time though, there was a little ray of hope that her injuries weren't fatal.
As hard as it was, I finally left her alone. She seemed to calm down a little when I wasn't there. In the afternoon I went for a long walk. I just couldn't hang around the house and do nothing, and since I couldn't drive, I walked. When I got back, she was gone.
It's been four years, and it still hurts just as much. Writing this has been difficult, and I almost don't want to publish it. But I'm not erasing it, not now.
I miss you, Oreo.
She was an outdoor kitty, against my will, but we were both coping. At least until that stupid stray showed up. He bullied her, and there was nothing I could do about it. No way would my dad allow her back inside. So we tried to cope. Until November 27-28.
I never heard anything. I didn't have any idea what happened until the next day when I found her. There was a spot in back of the house where the siding had come away and the cats could get under the house. There was a steep drop there, about a foot high I think. She was there. She couldn't move; she just lay there and screamed.
There have been several days in my life that stand out as really horrible. My first day at a public school. The day I realized I was no longer welcome at my church. The day my bee status was temporarily revoked. None of those, as difficult as they were to live, were quite as bad as hearing my child screaming in pain and being completely, utterly helpless to do anything about it.
If I could live that day again, I would do it differently. I would have pulled her out of that hole and given her a double human dose of aspirin and held her and told her how brave she was while she died quickly. At the time though, there was a little ray of hope that her injuries weren't fatal.
As hard as it was, I finally left her alone. She seemed to calm down a little when I wasn't there. In the afternoon I went for a long walk. I just couldn't hang around the house and do nothing, and since I couldn't drive, I walked. When I got back, she was gone.
It's been four years, and it still hurts just as much. Writing this has been difficult, and I almost don't want to publish it. But I'm not erasing it, not now.
I miss you, Oreo.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Drakula Revised
I have to write a story for German. In German. My skills aren't that great yet, so I'm writing it in English first. So here's the English version for anyone who wants to read it.
It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed, bright as day, and thunder boomed from right next to me. I was taking my dog for a walk in the forest, and she wasn’t happy about it. A crash of thunder left her cowering against my legs, whining pitifully. Another lightning flash revealed an ominous figure in the path in front of me. I jumped back, startled, and quickly grabbed a large branch which I brandished at the figure. It didn’t move, so I struck it with my makeshift club. Still it did nothing. The next flash of lightning revealed that I had been attacking a tree stump. I dropped the branch and snickered. This had better not get out, or everyone would tease me about it for years. As I relaxed and started to move forward, a hand fell on my shoulder. Now I screamed, and pulled away. My poor dog had had enough; she jerked the leash from my hand and bolted toward home.
“Relax,” a deep, gravelly voice said. “I don’t want to hurt you. Come with me.”
I turned to face the speaker apprehensively. He was of average height, perhaps an inch or two taller than me. His oily black hair was slicked back from his too-pale face. He wore a long black trench coat belted around his thin frame. His amber eyes glared at me, and he seemed to realize that just as I noticed, for he softened his expression. It didn’t make him any less menacing. I couldn’t move; I just stood gaping at him.
He grabbed my arm, pulled me along a path I hadn’t previously noticed. We approached a huge castle, but he pulled me aside at a small gardening shack. “Did you think I lived in that old thing?” he mocked. “Come on.” Inside it was much bigger than it appeared. There was a huge, open room, with banners hung along all the walls. They weren’t the creepy tapestries I would have expected in the home of someone like my host; no, they were party streamers. And in the center of the room stood rows of tables, laden down with food and presents. People swarmed up to us, looking excited.
“Is this him?”
“He looks interesting-”
“Are you sure-?”
I could barely hear myself think over the clamoring crowd. The host held up his hand. “This is him,” he said. At that the guests all grinned and pressed forward, revealing sharp pointed fangs. I screamed and jumped back.
“You’re- VAMPIRES?!”
“Oh, don’t look like that,” the host said impatiently. “You must have guessed.”
“What do you want from me? I have a family! Friends! People who’ll notice I’m gone!” I backed away, terrified, as though I could actually outrun a host of vampires.
“We’re not going to eat you,” the host exclaimed. “Ew!” He took off his trenchcoat and hung it on a coatrack. “We’re not like that.” He gave a smile which must have been intended as encouraging, but he only succeeded in scaring me further. I stepped back, and his smile vanished. “Stop,” he said. “I’m not- What’s your name?”
“Karl,” I managed. “My name is Karl.”
“I’m Drakula,” he said. “See? Much better. Now we’re friends. Come have some cake.”
I approached the front table and saw a cake ringed with candles. That was when I remembered what day it was. The vampires cheered as I blew out the candles.
“Happy birthday,” Drakula said, clapping me on the back, as another vampire cut the cake.
It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed, bright as day, and thunder boomed from right next to me. I was taking my dog for a walk in the forest, and she wasn’t happy about it. A crash of thunder left her cowering against my legs, whining pitifully. Another lightning flash revealed an ominous figure in the path in front of me. I jumped back, startled, and quickly grabbed a large branch which I brandished at the figure. It didn’t move, so I struck it with my makeshift club. Still it did nothing. The next flash of lightning revealed that I had been attacking a tree stump. I dropped the branch and snickered. This had better not get out, or everyone would tease me about it for years. As I relaxed and started to move forward, a hand fell on my shoulder. Now I screamed, and pulled away. My poor dog had had enough; she jerked the leash from my hand and bolted toward home.
“Relax,” a deep, gravelly voice said. “I don’t want to hurt you. Come with me.”
I turned to face the speaker apprehensively. He was of average height, perhaps an inch or two taller than me. His oily black hair was slicked back from his too-pale face. He wore a long black trench coat belted around his thin frame. His amber eyes glared at me, and he seemed to realize that just as I noticed, for he softened his expression. It didn’t make him any less menacing. I couldn’t move; I just stood gaping at him.
He grabbed my arm, pulled me along a path I hadn’t previously noticed. We approached a huge castle, but he pulled me aside at a small gardening shack. “Did you think I lived in that old thing?” he mocked. “Come on.” Inside it was much bigger than it appeared. There was a huge, open room, with banners hung along all the walls. They weren’t the creepy tapestries I would have expected in the home of someone like my host; no, they were party streamers. And in the center of the room stood rows of tables, laden down with food and presents. People swarmed up to us, looking excited.
“Is this him?”
“He looks interesting-”
“Are you sure-?”
I could barely hear myself think over the clamoring crowd. The host held up his hand. “This is him,” he said. At that the guests all grinned and pressed forward, revealing sharp pointed fangs. I screamed and jumped back.
“You’re- VAMPIRES?!”
“Oh, don’t look like that,” the host said impatiently. “You must have guessed.”
“What do you want from me? I have a family! Friends! People who’ll notice I’m gone!” I backed away, terrified, as though I could actually outrun a host of vampires.
“We’re not going to eat you,” the host exclaimed. “Ew!” He took off his trenchcoat and hung it on a coatrack. “We’re not like that.” He gave a smile which must have been intended as encouraging, but he only succeeded in scaring me further. I stepped back, and his smile vanished. “Stop,” he said. “I’m not- What’s your name?”
“Karl,” I managed. “My name is Karl.”
“I’m Drakula,” he said. “See? Much better. Now we’re friends. Come have some cake.”
I approached the front table and saw a cake ringed with candles. That was when I remembered what day it was. The vampires cheered as I blew out the candles.
“Happy birthday,” Drakula said, clapping me on the back, as another vampire cut the cake.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Project One
I'm doing a project for school. Sort of. If I can ever get my thoughts organized enough to concentrate. Anyway, I've got a little questionaire here that I'd like people to answer. You can send me a private message on Facebook if you want to keep your responses private. I know I don't usually get a lot of traffic here, but I'd appreciate it if you shared this with your friends; I would like a good variety of responses. Thanks.
1. Do you know anyone who is gay?
2. Do you believe homosexuality is a choice? Why?
3. Are you opposed to gay marriage?
4. If you use the Bible or another religious text as your reason for opposing gay marriage, do you believe that this is sufficient reason to make gay marriage illegal?
5. If you have another reason for opposing gay marriage, please give it.
6. Any other comments on this topic?
1. Do you know anyone who is gay?
2. Do you believe homosexuality is a choice? Why?
3. Are you opposed to gay marriage?
4. If you use the Bible or another religious text as your reason for opposing gay marriage, do you believe that this is sufficient reason to make gay marriage illegal?
5. If you have another reason for opposing gay marriage, please give it.
6. Any other comments on this topic?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Alone
There's always someone around
I never have time alone
I'm lost in the crowd
In my own home
I'm the invisible one
I hide behind the scenes
I don't belong here
I never have
I'm sick of hiding in plain sight
I'm tired of not being seen
You think I don't want the spotlight?
I need applause to live.
I never have time alone
I'm lost in the crowd
In my own home
I'm the invisible one
I hide behind the scenes
I don't belong here
I never have
I'm sick of hiding in plain sight
I'm tired of not being seen
You think I don't want the spotlight?
I need applause to live.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Ground Zero Mosque
First off, it's not even a mosque. It's a community center. Sure, they're going to put a prayer room in it, but that doesn't make the building a mosque.
And it's not AT Ground Zero, it's two blocks away. Also, there are at least ten Christian churches within two blocks of the former World Trade Center, and I've never heard any opposition to their existence.
I don't care if you are prejudiced or intolerant. That's your right. But it's no one's right to say they can't practice their religion freely in America. The only reason people are objecting to the cultural center is because it's going to be used by Muslims. And that is unconstitutional, un-American, and inhuman.
When the first European settlers came to North America in the early 17th century, they were fleeing religious persecution. They wanted the right to practice their religion freely. However, they were no better than the oppressors they left behind. They made their religion the new state religion, and other beliefs were illegal. In the 18th century, at the beginning of the United States, when our founding fathers were working out the first details of our government, they knew that one of the things the government should never have control over was religion. Thus the first clause of the First Amendment in our Bill of Rights: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof".
Now, I know the United States is far from perfect, and I know we have a rather violent and discriminatory past. But one thing we've always had right is the freedom of religion. You can believe anything or nothing, and no one has any right to tell you that you're wrong.
So what happened? Have people forgotten our past? How is it within anyone's rights to prohibit another religious group from building a community center specifically geared toward their own group? What happened to "Congress shall make no law...prohibiting the free exercise [of religion]"? People have no right to ask the government to stop this community center. Like I said before, you can think whatever you want. But you can't blame an entire culture for the crimes of a few extremists. Not unless you want to go back to World War II, when American citizens were arrested and put in prisons- sorry, "concentration camps", just because they were of Japanese descent.
This is America. One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.
And it's not AT Ground Zero, it's two blocks away. Also, there are at least ten Christian churches within two blocks of the former World Trade Center, and I've never heard any opposition to their existence.
I don't care if you are prejudiced or intolerant. That's your right. But it's no one's right to say they can't practice their religion freely in America. The only reason people are objecting to the cultural center is because it's going to be used by Muslims. And that is unconstitutional, un-American, and inhuman.
When the first European settlers came to North America in the early 17th century, they were fleeing religious persecution. They wanted the right to practice their religion freely. However, they were no better than the oppressors they left behind. They made their religion the new state religion, and other beliefs were illegal. In the 18th century, at the beginning of the United States, when our founding fathers were working out the first details of our government, they knew that one of the things the government should never have control over was religion. Thus the first clause of the First Amendment in our Bill of Rights: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof".
Now, I know the United States is far from perfect, and I know we have a rather violent and discriminatory past. But one thing we've always had right is the freedom of religion. You can believe anything or nothing, and no one has any right to tell you that you're wrong.
So what happened? Have people forgotten our past? How is it within anyone's rights to prohibit another religious group from building a community center specifically geared toward their own group? What happened to "Congress shall make no law...prohibiting the free exercise [of religion]"? People have no right to ask the government to stop this community center. Like I said before, you can think whatever you want. But you can't blame an entire culture for the crimes of a few extremists. Not unless you want to go back to World War II, when American citizens were arrested and put in prisons- sorry, "concentration camps", just because they were of Japanese descent.
This is America. One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
If I wasn't a fan before I certainly am now
I watched Humanoid City Live for the first time today. Just finished it a few minutes ago, actually. I'll try to write coherently, but no guarantees.
First off, I have to say, Bill Kaulitz is without a doubt, hands down, the most beautiful human on the planet. And second, my absolute favorite moment in the DVD was the line "I promise you right now, I'll never let you down" during Ready Set Go. So sweet.
Also, they are the best band ever. Period. There are other bands I like, of course. Madina Lake, U2, Green Day. They're all good, but Tokio Hotel is better. That's all.
Okay, best songs on the DVD. Pain of Love was amazing. And Dogs Unleashed was SO good live. And Hey You. Zoom into Me was so sweet and beautiful. My favorite song- well, I can't really say. There's no way I could pick a favorite song. I love them all.
It's so beautiful that they keep thanking the fans.
There are some bands who make good music. I'll buy their CDs, maybe go to a concert if they're in my area. But they're not good people, and they're not good to their fans. Their only selling point is the music.
Then there's Tokio Hotel. Obviously I don't know them personally, but from what I've seen, all four of them are sweet, amazing, beautiful people. They're the kind of band for whom I'd do all I could to support. They may not be perfect; I might not like everything they do. But they are nice. And that counts for a lot.
First off, I have to say, Bill Kaulitz is without a doubt, hands down, the most beautiful human on the planet. And second, my absolute favorite moment in the DVD was the line "I promise you right now, I'll never let you down" during Ready Set Go. So sweet.
Also, they are the best band ever. Period. There are other bands I like, of course. Madina Lake, U2, Green Day. They're all good, but Tokio Hotel is better. That's all.
Okay, best songs on the DVD. Pain of Love was amazing. And Dogs Unleashed was SO good live. And Hey You. Zoom into Me was so sweet and beautiful. My favorite song- well, I can't really say. There's no way I could pick a favorite song. I love them all.
It's so beautiful that they keep thanking the fans.
There are some bands who make good music. I'll buy their CDs, maybe go to a concert if they're in my area. But they're not good people, and they're not good to their fans. Their only selling point is the music.
Then there's Tokio Hotel. Obviously I don't know them personally, but from what I've seen, all four of them are sweet, amazing, beautiful people. They're the kind of band for whom I'd do all I could to support. They may not be perfect; I might not like everything they do. But they are nice. And that counts for a lot.
Monday, August 2, 2010
My first Lughnasadh
Yesterday morning I was meeting some friends who are part of the local pagan society, and they informed me that today (Aug 2) was a holiday, and that I was invited to the ritual. Apparently it's halfway between summer solstice and autumn equinox. In paganism, they believe in a wheel of the year, and there are eight "spokes" on the wheel: summer and winter solstice, spring and fall equinox, and four halfway points, Sanhain (pronounced "sow-inn"), Imbolc, Beltaine, and Lughnasadh (pronounced "lou-nah-sah").
Those four, Sanhain, Imbolc, Beltaine, and Lughnasadh, were originally celebrated by the Celtic people in ancient Europe. Their year began on November 1 (Sanhain), which is similar to today's Halloween traditions. In fact, Sanhain is where most of Halloween traditions came from. On Sanhain, the barrier between the physical world and the spiritual was lowered, and ghosts of their ancestors would return for that one night. People left food outside to appease their ancestors, and they barred themselves inside their houses throughout the night.
At the ritual (called Lammas in modern paganism), they lit candles and recited lines about each direction, burning a different incense for each direction. A straw figure representing the god of grain was burned, along with our wishes for the coming year, and another figure representing the goddess of corn was laid to rest in a wooden box, symbolizing the corn being harvested and stored through the winter. Then we went inside for a dinner. It wasn't that good, to be honest. All I had time to make was cookies, so that's pretty much all I ate there. Hopefully next time I'll be able to plan ahead a little. If there is a next time.
Those four, Sanhain, Imbolc, Beltaine, and Lughnasadh, were originally celebrated by the Celtic people in ancient Europe. Their year began on November 1 (Sanhain), which is similar to today's Halloween traditions. In fact, Sanhain is where most of Halloween traditions came from. On Sanhain, the barrier between the physical world and the spiritual was lowered, and ghosts of their ancestors would return for that one night. People left food outside to appease their ancestors, and they barred themselves inside their houses throughout the night.
At the ritual (called Lammas in modern paganism), they lit candles and recited lines about each direction, burning a different incense for each direction. A straw figure representing the god of grain was burned, along with our wishes for the coming year, and another figure representing the goddess of corn was laid to rest in a wooden box, symbolizing the corn being harvested and stored through the winter. Then we went inside for a dinner. It wasn't that good, to be honest. All I had time to make was cookies, so that's pretty much all I ate there. Hopefully next time I'll be able to plan ahead a little. If there is a next time.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Why I'm an Atheist
It's so interesting where the recommended videos can lead you on Youtube. I don't remember how I ended up finding this one, but I did. It was five questions from a Christian to atheists. I did leave a comment there, but the comment section doesn't leave you much room, so I'm bringing the questions here so I can talk even more. Because I'm good at talking a lot. I'm not going to answer the fifth question, because it's not applicable to me; I wasn't even aware of the issue the asker addressed.
1. Why is there something rather than nothing?
I don't think this question is fair. The existence of a god does not automatically answer the question of why we exist. There could just as easily be nothing rather than something regardless of whether or not you believe a god exists.
2. What evidence (if any) do you find most persuasive regarding Theism?
I believe there is a spiritual connection between all people, both human and non-human. I know that when my son comes to me to be held, and purrs when I rub his belly, or when I can understand him even though we don't speak the same language, there is a connection beyond that of what I have with most cats. To me this tells me that there must be something. Maybe it's a god, maybe it's nature, I don't know. But just because I don't believe in a deity, doesn't mean I don't believe in anything. It's just closer to pantheism than deism for me.
3. How do you reconcile your atheism with any ultimate meaning in life?
I'm not convinced that this life is it. When I look into Jaspar's eyes, I see such depth. I firmly believe that he was not always a cat, that this is only one incarnation of a very old soul. Even if I'm wrong, what gives me meaning in life is not what happens to me after I die, but what happens to those I leave behind. Did I make a difference? Will someone one day, fifty years after my death, look back and say "She helped me when I needed it"? That is the ultimate meaning. That even if I'm forgotten in a few hundred years, I make the world different just by existing.
4. Were you raised in a religious environment?
Yes.
As for the title, why I'm an atheist, the simple answer is because I was raised to believe in a sadistic god who sits in heaven just waiting for me to do something wrong so that he can punish me. The people who taught me of that god were no different; they were for the most part selfish and cruel who tried to force me into a mold that I could never fit. And I just don't want to believe in a god like that, whose followers are like that. I think I could be convinced that there is such a thing as a kind, loving god who really cares about his or her followers, but it would take a lot.
And that was just the simple answer.
1. Why is there something rather than nothing?
I don't think this question is fair. The existence of a god does not automatically answer the question of why we exist. There could just as easily be nothing rather than something regardless of whether or not you believe a god exists.
2. What evidence (if any) do you find most persuasive regarding Theism?
I believe there is a spiritual connection between all people, both human and non-human. I know that when my son comes to me to be held, and purrs when I rub his belly, or when I can understand him even though we don't speak the same language, there is a connection beyond that of what I have with most cats. To me this tells me that there must be something. Maybe it's a god, maybe it's nature, I don't know. But just because I don't believe in a deity, doesn't mean I don't believe in anything. It's just closer to pantheism than deism for me.
3. How do you reconcile your atheism with any ultimate meaning in life?
I'm not convinced that this life is it. When I look into Jaspar's eyes, I see such depth. I firmly believe that he was not always a cat, that this is only one incarnation of a very old soul. Even if I'm wrong, what gives me meaning in life is not what happens to me after I die, but what happens to those I leave behind. Did I make a difference? Will someone one day, fifty years after my death, look back and say "She helped me when I needed it"? That is the ultimate meaning. That even if I'm forgotten in a few hundred years, I make the world different just by existing.
4. Were you raised in a religious environment?
Yes.
As for the title, why I'm an atheist, the simple answer is because I was raised to believe in a sadistic god who sits in heaven just waiting for me to do something wrong so that he can punish me. The people who taught me of that god were no different; they were for the most part selfish and cruel who tried to force me into a mold that I could never fit. And I just don't want to believe in a god like that, whose followers are like that. I think I could be convinced that there is such a thing as a kind, loving god who really cares about his or her followers, but it would take a lot.
And that was just the simple answer.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Writer's Block Sucks
My mom spoils Jaspar. I always tell her not to give him treats, but she won't listen. It's gotten so bad that every time I eat, he's sitting there with the cutest expression on his face, and it's so hard to resist. Can you imagine this staring at you, following your hand from the plate to your mouth:
It's torture.
In other news, I finally got word on my financial aid for school. Yay! Now I just need to be patient. Again. I hate being patient; it's definitely not my strong point. But at least it's only another month or so. I'll be taking composition, German, and photography, and a couple other classes, too, I just can't remember what. Next semester I'm going to try to add French and Spanish, and later transfer to another college nearby that teaches Arabic and Japanese. When I was a kid, when I thought I'd have no choice but to get married, I used to dream that my future husband and I would each travel to half the countries in the world and learn the languages, then meet up again and teach each other the other half. Obviously that's not realistic, but I still want to learn as many languages as I can.
And I've been having trouble writing lately. I need more ideas.
It's torture.
In other news, I finally got word on my financial aid for school. Yay! Now I just need to be patient. Again. I hate being patient; it's definitely not my strong point. But at least it's only another month or so. I'll be taking composition, German, and photography, and a couple other classes, too, I just can't remember what. Next semester I'm going to try to add French and Spanish, and later transfer to another college nearby that teaches Arabic and Japanese. When I was a kid, when I thought I'd have no choice but to get married, I used to dream that my future husband and I would each travel to half the countries in the world and learn the languages, then meet up again and teach each other the other half. Obviously that's not realistic, but I still want to learn as many languages as I can.
And I've been having trouble writing lately. I need more ideas.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Family Vacation 2010
I hate camping. I'm just going to say that up front. We always used to camp when I was a kid, and I hated it. Bugs EVERYWHERE, hamburgers that were burned on the outside and pink on the inside, sleeping in a too-small tent. There were good parts, of course. The road trips were fun. We were always up and on the road early. To this day I love driving on the expressway early in the morning, even if I'm not going far. We always got extra snacks and pop, and we got to eat out at least once or twice. We'd drive three or five or twelve hours, and Mom and Dad would set up the tent. I couldn't swim, but I loved playing in the water when there was a beach. And the sightseeing was incredible. I like that I've stood on top of Pike's Peak, on the shore of the Atlantic Ocean, and at the bottom of Mammoth Cave, all before I was 15.
But all that isn't enough to make me want to spend two days in a tiny RV with my dad. I was dreading this trip for weeks. And we weren't even going anywhere cool, just some dinky little park not two hours from home. I'd been there before. What's the point of going to the same place twice? Why couldn't we go somewhere new, or at least somewhere I enjoyed the first time. But I don't make the decisions. So I packed my bag and climbed in the crowded truck for an hour and a half. Once we got there and got the RV set up, I left. I walked more in those two days than I usually do in a month. The restrooms were a five-minute walk from our site, and the beach another five minutes farther. I spent some time on the beach, but it was kind of awkward because I'm the only one in my family who likes the beach, and I can't swim. I had a camera, but I didn't feel like taking a lot of pictures with so many people around. I went back in the evening, though, and found most everyone gone, so I was able to get a few good shots of the seagulls.
When I finally fell asleep that night, I had so many weird dreams, even more so than normal. I only remember one clearly though, and even that has some missing parts. I remember that there was something bad going to happen, and there was a woman who could stop this bad something. Only to convince her to do so, we had to do something, part of which included burning a stack of pictures. Included in those pictures were the only copies I had of some old photos of pets I've lost. I cried and cried as I lit the match, but the person in charge, a minister I know, told me I had to. Then suddenly it was before I'd lit the fire, when the minister was telling me I had to, so the other woman would help, and this time I didn't do it. I had just told her I wouldn't do it when I woke up. It was very odd.
The next morning we had pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Huge advantage of an RV over a tent: You can actually cook more than hot dogs and marshmallows. It was great. After breakfast I went and got some more pictures in the woods.
Later we packed a lunch and went for a short hike over to another beach, one that appeared less crowded. We were there about half an hour when several families showed up with their young children. When we couldn't stand the noise anymore, we left. The afternoon went more quickly than had the previous one, and we went to bed early. In the morning we packed up and were pulling out by nine a.m. Sometimes I like that my dad always gets up so early. I'd been missing Jaspar, and I wasn't looking forward to facing him after two days gone. Most of the time he's mad at me for leaving, and so he gives me the cold shoulder treatment for a few days. Today when I got home, though, he was more friendly than I expected, at least at first. I haven't seen him since he said hi.
I didn't expect to enjoy this trip so much. It was actually almost fun. I'll have to go back when I have a better camera.
But all that isn't enough to make me want to spend two days in a tiny RV with my dad. I was dreading this trip for weeks. And we weren't even going anywhere cool, just some dinky little park not two hours from home. I'd been there before. What's the point of going to the same place twice? Why couldn't we go somewhere new, or at least somewhere I enjoyed the first time. But I don't make the decisions. So I packed my bag and climbed in the crowded truck for an hour and a half. Once we got there and got the RV set up, I left. I walked more in those two days than I usually do in a month. The restrooms were a five-minute walk from our site, and the beach another five minutes farther. I spent some time on the beach, but it was kind of awkward because I'm the only one in my family who likes the beach, and I can't swim. I had a camera, but I didn't feel like taking a lot of pictures with so many people around. I went back in the evening, though, and found most everyone gone, so I was able to get a few good shots of the seagulls.
When I finally fell asleep that night, I had so many weird dreams, even more so than normal. I only remember one clearly though, and even that has some missing parts. I remember that there was something bad going to happen, and there was a woman who could stop this bad something. Only to convince her to do so, we had to do something, part of which included burning a stack of pictures. Included in those pictures were the only copies I had of some old photos of pets I've lost. I cried and cried as I lit the match, but the person in charge, a minister I know, told me I had to. Then suddenly it was before I'd lit the fire, when the minister was telling me I had to, so the other woman would help, and this time I didn't do it. I had just told her I wouldn't do it when I woke up. It was very odd.
The next morning we had pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Huge advantage of an RV over a tent: You can actually cook more than hot dogs and marshmallows. It was great. After breakfast I went and got some more pictures in the woods.
Later we packed a lunch and went for a short hike over to another beach, one that appeared less crowded. We were there about half an hour when several families showed up with their young children. When we couldn't stand the noise anymore, we left. The afternoon went more quickly than had the previous one, and we went to bed early. In the morning we packed up and were pulling out by nine a.m. Sometimes I like that my dad always gets up so early. I'd been missing Jaspar, and I wasn't looking forward to facing him after two days gone. Most of the time he's mad at me for leaving, and so he gives me the cold shoulder treatment for a few days. Today when I got home, though, he was more friendly than I expected, at least at first. I haven't seen him since he said hi.
I didn't expect to enjoy this trip so much. It was actually almost fun. I'll have to go back when I have a better camera.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Vampires
Part Two of my monster series, this entry will focus on vampires. Stories of the creatures we think of as vampires originated in eastern Europe and quickly spread throughout the early Christian world. In the early days of the Christian church, people often retained superstitions from their pagan beliefs, including belief in ghosts and spirits. When someone died from unknown causes, it was often attributed to a vengeful spirit that had returned from the afterlife. The villagers would dig up the grave of the suspected ghost and burn the body. Their belief that the undead corpse rose from the grave and fed on the blood of the living was only reinforced by what they found when they examined the body. Due to the process of decay, it often appeared that the body was healthy, with elongated fingernails and a bright, healthy-looking face. Since the people in that time didn't realize that all bodies looked like that, that it was natural, they believed it was proof that the suspected vampire was, in fact, returning to drink the blood of the living. As technology and science advanced, these beliefs died out, and vampires retired to the pages of fiction.
Fictional vampiric myth is even more varied than that of werewolves. Most of what we today associate with vampires was added over the last two centuries by authors of fiction. The original vampire stories were more what we now think of as zombies.
In most stories, new vampires are born by being bitten by an existing vampire. However, in the sci-fi show Sanctuary, vampires were an ancient race that once enslaved humans. According to this story, the vampires were highly advanced and used their knowledge to benefit society. When the Church appeared, they hunted down vampires to the point of extinction. A few survivors hid in an ancient city in India, but this, too, was destroyed. The race was all but wiped out, with only a few that carried a fraction of vampiric blood in their history.
Fictional vampiric myth is even more varied than that of werewolves. Most of what we today associate with vampires was added over the last two centuries by authors of fiction. The original vampire stories were more what we now think of as zombies.
In most stories, new vampires are born by being bitten by an existing vampire. However, in the sci-fi show Sanctuary, vampires were an ancient race that once enslaved humans. According to this story, the vampires were highly advanced and used their knowledge to benefit society. When the Church appeared, they hunted down vampires to the point of extinction. A few survivors hid in an ancient city in India, but this, too, was destroyed. The race was all but wiped out, with only a few that carried a fraction of vampiric blood in their history.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Werewolves
Werewolves and vampires are my favorite mythological monsters, so I'm going to do a two-part blog about them. This one is about werewolves, hence the title "Werewolves". The name 'werewolf', (also spelled 'werwolf') is thought to be derived from the Old English word 'wer', meaning man. Another common term is 'lycanthropy', which is from the Greek word 'lykánthropos', meaning 'wolf-human'. Stories of shapeshifters occur in most parts of the world. Ancient cultures often gave their most feared predator shapeshifting abilities in their stories. In South America, it was the jaguar; in Europe, the wolf; and in Korea, it was the fox. Today, it's usually werewolves that are featured in fiction, rather than their Asian or American counterparts.
Modern werewolf mythology varies widely from one author to another. However, of the stories I've seen or read (which, to be honest, are quite few), there are some common themes. Werewolves are immensely strong; they can shift at will with practice; they are most definitely not controlled by the moon; and children cannot shift. It varies whether werewolf blood is hereditary or contagious. In the bloodline myth, werewolf children develop the ability to shapeshift as they mature; the timeline varies from during puberty to well into adulthood. In the contagion myth, those bitten don't always survive, and the odds of survival are even less for children.
Finally, I will leave you with a picture of my favorite werewolf, Henry Foss from the sci-fi show Sanctuary. Henry is played by Ryan Robbins.
Who's your favorite werewolf? Leave a comment below.
Modern werewolf mythology varies widely from one author to another. However, of the stories I've seen or read (which, to be honest, are quite few), there are some common themes. Werewolves are immensely strong; they can shift at will with practice; they are most definitely not controlled by the moon; and children cannot shift. It varies whether werewolf blood is hereditary or contagious. In the bloodline myth, werewolf children develop the ability to shapeshift as they mature; the timeline varies from during puberty to well into adulthood. In the contagion myth, those bitten don't always survive, and the odds of survival are even less for children.
Finally, I will leave you with a picture of my favorite werewolf, Henry Foss from the sci-fi show Sanctuary. Henry is played by Ryan Robbins.
Who's your favorite werewolf? Leave a comment below.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Parodies
Several hilarious parodies of Tokio Hotel songs have emerged over the last few weeks. It's amazing many talented people there are at Tokiohotelamerica.com. Here's my own contribution to the parody collection, in honor of my soulmate Jaspar:
We won’t come when you call
We won’t do your will at all
We don’t believe anything you say
We’ll run away
Whenever you try to cuddle
You’ll pet us on our terms
Or get claw marks on your arms
We’ll run away
We are cats unleashed
No, not you
We are cats unleashed
No, just us
We are cats unleashed
With mind control
Full of powers
Nobody knows
Unleashed
Clawing at your face
We will always
Do our own thing
We are cats unleashed
We are cats unleashed
We are cats unleashed
Tonight
Tonight
We’ll stalk your feet
We’ll keep you up
We turn everything into a fight
We won’t ever
Let you sleep
At night
I am
In charge
In your
House now
Cats unleashed
We are cats unleashed
Cats unleashed
If you want to read the others, just go to Tokio Hotel America and look in the Creativity section for the parody threads.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
How I found Tokio Hotel
I was working nights, and my job was SO boring. Basically all I had to do was sit up all night in case the phone rang. (This was back in September 2009.) I found some websites that were quite entertaining, if a little stupid. Okay, a lot stupid. One night, I was on The Site That Shall Not Be Named (I won't say the name because no normal person should go there, it's the epitome of stupid, and I only went there in the first place because my job was so BORING), and the discussion was about androgyny. Someone posted a picture of this...person. I wasn't sure if it was a guy or girl. But they said the name was Bill, so I figured it was a guy. The poster didn't bother putting a last name, so I figured it would be impossible to find out who it was. I almost forgot about it for a few days. It came up in a conversation with my sister two days later, though, and I decided to send her a picture. Only first I had to find one. The one on TSTSNBN had been taken down, which left Google. And all I had was the name "Bill", which is not exactly the most unusual name. I typed in "bill androgynous", and the first thing that came up was a Wikipedia article about Bill Kaulitz. It said he was German, and that he was in a band with his twin brother. I was bored and a little curious, so I went to Youtube and searched for Tokio Hotel. The first video I watched was "Don't Jump". During the watching thereof, I became convinced that this wasn't a real person, because he was just too perfect. I mean, he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. No one is that beautiful. Or so I thought. Regardless of whether he was real or just a CGI person that the other band members created to increase their popularity, I was completely taken in. I looked on Google some more, and I found the most wonderful site ever: Tokio Hotel America. I joined the forum 09/27/2009. I admit, I wasn't impressed at first; I broke one of the rules early on and almost got myself banned, after which I refused to go back. My resolve lasted not even a week, for which I'm infinitely glad.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
NEW! Tokio Hotel in Humanoid City
Don't miss it! The release of Tokio Hotel's latest concert DVD is coming up next month! Pre-order now!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Gulf of Mexico spill
The whole mess in the Gulf of Mexico really annoys me. I don't understand how anyone, no matter how much they want money, could really not care if they destroy the planet to get it. It's wrong. It doesn't matter which company is responsible, though. None of them are innocent. No one is. Until we can find a better fuel source than oil, things like this will keep happening. And not enough people care. Sure, everyone's sad about the birds and fish in the Gulf of Mexico, but what about the other spills? In Nigeria, over a million gallons of oil spilled into a river delta when an ExxonMobil pipe burst (source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/may/30/oil-spills-nigeria-niger-delta-shell). In Utah, oil poured into a creek from a broken Chevron Oil Company pipe. The worst of it is, the oil companies don't care. When Nigerian farmers demonstrated against ExxonMobil, they were attacked by security guards. The companies, including BP, have done next to nothing to try and stop this. I don't mean just the Deepwater Horizon spill; I'm referring to preventavive measures to keep spills from occuring in the first place. If giving up oil is impossible (and for some of us, who live in the country miles from stores and jobs, it is) then we should at least try to be responsible and care for the environment enough to ensure the equipment used is safe and in good condition. It's time for the oil companies to answer for destroying the livelihood of hundreds of Nigerian farmers. It's time for BP to answer for destroying an entire ecosystem.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Jaspar
No, it's not about me. My cat is also called Jaspar, I'm just borrowing the name. Jaspar is just over a year old; I adopted him a year ago this month. He and his brother were the last two kittens on the farm where they were born. We took Jaspar home, and we felt so bad about leaving that last kitten that we went back the next day and got Arthur.
I couldn't think of a name for Jaspar. We were going to call him Jonas, but then my sister got Arthur, so Jaspar became my cat, instead of the family cat. I tried out several names, from Rum Tum Tugger to Macavity to Carlisle. Nothing seemed to fit, so for the first two weeks I called him Turnip Head. You know, like Charlie called Aaron in Lost? I finally settled on Jaspar, after the vampire from Twilight.
He drives me crazy. He's always getting in trouble, or getting sick. He has allergies; we had to stop using dryer sheets after we got him. He likes trying to scare me, usually by falling off stuff. Like one time, he fell and got his leg stuck in the blinds. Or the time he tried to walk across a curtain rod. It doesn't help things, either, when I'm trying to sleep and he's biting my feet. I yell at him more than I should, I know.
But then there's those moments when he looks at me with those big green eyes, and rubs his head against my hand and purrs, and I all but melt. I love him.
I couldn't think of a name for Jaspar. We were going to call him Jonas, but then my sister got Arthur, so Jaspar became my cat, instead of the family cat. I tried out several names, from Rum Tum Tugger to Macavity to Carlisle. Nothing seemed to fit, so for the first two weeks I called him Turnip Head. You know, like Charlie called Aaron in Lost? I finally settled on Jaspar, after the vampire from Twilight.
He drives me crazy. He's always getting in trouble, or getting sick. He has allergies; we had to stop using dryer sheets after we got him. He likes trying to scare me, usually by falling off stuff. Like one time, he fell and got his leg stuck in the blinds. Or the time he tried to walk across a curtain rod. It doesn't help things, either, when I'm trying to sleep and he's biting my feet. I yell at him more than I should, I know.
But then there's those moments when he looks at me with those big green eyes, and rubs his head against my hand and purrs, and I all but melt. I love him.
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