Oreo

On November 28, 2006, I lost the last person who cared about me.

She was an outdoor kitty, against my will, but we were both coping. At least until that stupid stray showed up. He bullied her, and there was nothing I could do about it. No way would my dad allow her back inside. So we tried to cope. Until November 27-28.

I never heard anything. I didn't have any idea what happened until the next day when I found her. There was a spot in back of the house where the siding had come away and the cats could get under the house. There was a steep drop there, about a foot high I think. She was there. She couldn't move; she just lay there and screamed.

There have been several days in my life that stand out as really horrible. My first day at a public school. The day I realized I was no longer welcome at my church. The day my bee status was temporarily revoked. None of those, as difficult as they were to live, were quite as bad as hearing my child screaming in pain and being completely, utterly helpless to do anything about it.

If I could live that day again, I would do it differently. I would have pulled her out of that hole and given her a double human dose of aspirin and held her and told her how brave she was while she died quickly. At the time though, there was a little ray of hope that her injuries weren't fatal.

As hard as it was, I finally left her alone. She seemed to calm down a little when I wasn't there. In the afternoon I went for a long walk. I just couldn't hang around the house and do nothing, and since I couldn't drive, I walked. When I got back, she was gone.

It's been four years, and it still hurts just as much. Writing this has been difficult, and I almost don't want to publish it. But I'm not erasing it, not now.

I miss you, Oreo.

Drakula Revised

I have to write a story for German. In German. My skills aren't that great yet, so I'm writing it in English first. So here's the English version for anyone who wants to read it.

It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning flashed, bright as day, and thunder boomed from right next to me. I was taking my dog for a walk in the forest, and she wasn’t happy about it. A crash of thunder left her cowering against my legs, whining pitifully. Another lightning flash revealed an ominous figure in the path in front of me. I jumped back, startled, and quickly grabbed a large branch which I brandished at the figure. It didn’t move, so I struck it with my makeshift club. Still it did nothing. The next flash of lightning revealed that I had been attacking a tree stump. I dropped the branch and snickered. This had better not get out, or everyone would tease me about it for years. As I relaxed and started to move forward, a hand fell on my shoulder. Now I screamed, and pulled away. My poor dog had had enough; she jerked the leash from my hand and bolted toward home.
“Relax,” a deep, gravelly voice said. “I don’t want to hurt you. Come with me.”
I turned to face the speaker apprehensively. He was of average height, perhaps an inch or two taller than me. His oily black hair was slicked back from his too-pale face. He wore a long black trench coat belted around his thin frame. His amber eyes glared at me, and he seemed to realize that just as I noticed, for he softened his expression. It didn’t make him any less menacing. I couldn’t move; I just stood gaping at him.
He grabbed my arm, pulled me along a path I hadn’t previously noticed. We approached a huge castle, but he pulled me aside at a small gardening shack. “Did you think I lived in that old thing?” he mocked. “Come on.” Inside it was much bigger than it appeared. There was a huge, open room, with banners hung along all the walls. They weren’t the creepy tapestries I would have expected in the home of someone like my host; no, they were party streamers. And in the center of the room stood rows of tables, laden down with food and presents. People swarmed up to us, looking excited.
“Is this him?”
“He looks interesting-”
“Are you sure-?”
I could barely hear myself think over the clamoring crowd. The host held up his hand. “This is him,” he said. At that the guests all grinned and pressed forward, revealing sharp pointed fangs. I screamed and jumped back.
“You’re- VAMPIRES?!”
“Oh, don’t look like that,” the host said impatiently. “You must have guessed.”
“What do you want from me? I have a family! Friends! People who’ll notice I’m gone!” I backed away, terrified, as though I could actually outrun a host of vampires.
“We’re not going to eat you,” the host exclaimed. “Ew!” He took off his trenchcoat and hung it on a coatrack. “We’re not like that.” He gave a smile which must have been intended as encouraging, but he only succeeded in scaring me further. I stepped back, and his smile vanished. “Stop,” he said. “I’m not- What’s your name?”
“Karl,” I managed. “My name is Karl.”
“I’m Drakula,” he said. “See? Much better. Now we’re friends. Come have some cake.”
I approached the front table and saw a cake ringed with candles. That was when I remembered what day it was. The vampires cheered as I blew out the candles.
“Happy birthday,” Drakula said, clapping me on the back, as another vampire cut the cake.

Project One

I'm doing a project for school. Sort of. If I can ever get my thoughts organized enough to concentrate. Anyway, I've got a little questionaire here that I'd like people to answer. You can send me a private message on Facebook if you want to keep your responses private. I know I don't usually get a lot of traffic here, but I'd appreciate it if you shared this with your friends; I would like a good variety of responses. Thanks.

1. Do you know anyone who is gay?
2. Do you believe homosexuality is a choice? Why?
3. Are you opposed to gay marriage?
4. If you use the Bible or another religious text as your reason for opposing gay marriage, do you believe that this is sufficient reason to make gay marriage illegal?
5. If you have another reason for opposing gay marriage, please give it.
6. Any other comments on this topic?

Alone

There's always someone around
I never have time alone
I'm lost in the crowd
In my own home
I'm the invisible one
I hide behind the scenes
I don't belong here
I never have
I'm sick of hiding in plain sight
I'm tired of not being seen
You think I don't want the spotlight?
I need applause to live.

Ground Zero Mosque

First off, it's not even a mosque. It's a community center. Sure, they're going to put a prayer room in it, but that doesn't make the building a mosque.

And it's not AT Ground Zero, it's two blocks away. Also, there are at least ten Christian churches within two blocks of the former World Trade Center, and I've never heard any opposition to their existence.

I don't care if you are prejudiced or intolerant. That's your right. But it's no one's right to say they can't practice their religion freely in America. The only reason people are objecting to the cultural center is because it's going to be used by Muslims. And that is unconstitutional, un-American, and inhuman.

When the first European settlers came to North America in the early 17th century, they were fleeing religious persecution. They wanted the right to practice their religion freely. However, they were no better than the oppressors they left behind. They made their religion the new state religion, and other beliefs were illegal. In the 18th century, at the beginning of the United States, when our founding fathers were working out the first details of our government, they knew that one of the things the government should never have control over was religion. Thus the first clause of the First Amendment in our Bill of Rights: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof".

Now, I know the United States is far from perfect, and I know we have a rather violent and discriminatory past. But one thing we've always had right is the freedom of religion. You can believe anything or nothing, and no one has any right to tell you that you're wrong.

So what happened? Have people forgotten our past? How is it within anyone's rights to prohibit another religious group from building a community center specifically geared toward their own group? What happened to "Congress shall make no law...prohibiting the free exercise [of religion]"? People have no right to ask the government to stop this community center. Like I said before, you can think whatever you want. But you can't blame an entire culture for the crimes of a few extremists. Not unless you want to go back to World War II, when American citizens were arrested and put in prisons- sorry, "concentration camps", just because they were of Japanese descent.



This is America. One nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.

If I wasn't a fan before I certainly am now

I watched Humanoid City Live for the first time today. Just finished it a few minutes ago, actually. I'll try to write coherently, but no guarantees.

First off, I have to say, Bill Kaulitz is without a doubt, hands down, the most beautiful human on the planet. And second, my absolute favorite moment in the DVD was the line "I promise you right now, I'll never let you down" during Ready Set Go. So sweet.

Also, they are the best band ever. Period. There are other bands I like, of course. Madina Lake, U2, Green Day. They're all good, but Tokio Hotel is better. That's all.

Okay, best songs on the DVD. Pain of Love was amazing. And Dogs Unleashed was SO good live. And Hey You. Zoom into Me was so sweet and beautiful. My favorite song- well, I can't really say. There's no way I could pick a favorite song. I love them all.

It's so beautiful that they keep thanking the fans.

There are some bands who make good music. I'll buy their CDs, maybe go to a concert if they're in my area. But they're not good people, and they're not good to their fans. Their only selling point is the music.

Then there's Tokio Hotel. Obviously I don't know them personally, but from what I've seen, all four of them are sweet, amazing, beautiful people. They're the kind of band for whom I'd do all I could to support. They may not be perfect; I might not like everything they do. But they are nice. And that counts for a lot.

My first Lughnasadh

Yesterday morning I was meeting some friends who are part of the local pagan society, and they informed me that today (Aug 2) was a holiday, and that I was invited to the ritual. Apparently it's halfway between summer solstice and autumn equinox. In paganism, they believe in a wheel of the year, and there are eight "spokes" on the wheel: summer and winter solstice, spring and fall equinox, and four halfway points, Sanhain (pronounced "sow-inn"), Imbolc, Beltaine, and Lughnasadh (pronounced "lou-nah-sah").

Those four, Sanhain, Imbolc, Beltaine, and Lughnasadh, were originally celebrated by the Celtic people in ancient Europe. Their year began on November 1 (Sanhain), which is similar to today's Halloween traditions. In fact, Sanhain is where most of Halloween traditions came from. On Sanhain, the barrier between the physical world and the spiritual was lowered, and ghosts of their ancestors would return for that one night. People left food outside to appease their ancestors, and they barred themselves inside their houses throughout the night.

At the ritual (called Lammas in modern paganism), they lit candles and recited lines about each direction, burning a different incense for each direction. A straw figure representing the god of grain was burned, along with our wishes for the coming year, and another figure representing the goddess of corn was laid to rest in a wooden box, symbolizing the corn being harvested and stored through the winter. Then we went inside for a dinner. It wasn't that good, to be honest. All I had time to make was cookies, so that's pretty much all I ate there. Hopefully next time I'll be able to plan ahead a little. If there is a next time.